Difficult Discussions are Never Fun

I’m not one for airing dirty laundry on the interwebs, but I am sure some of you noticed my recent absence.  Part of that can be attributed to my travels.  My poor little car has put on 1500 miles in the last 2.5 weeks.  Yikes! Brigiette just needs to hold out another few years to get me through school and into a realm of having a big girl pay check.

Additionally, boyfriend and I have been having a lot of serious discussions, which occasionally lead to arguments about future things.  It’s really getting past the whole denial on my part that the Army is going to be quite an obstacle in my chosen career field.  I know it has been something I’ve danced around before, but now he’s been home and we’re getting into our groove all over again.  I’m getting to the point I’m starting to apply for jobs and internships and would really like the option to be together zip code wise.  Boyfriend made an off hand comment about duty stations and Europe would be a place he’d like to go.  

It has led to some tense discussions, and I know that some sacrifices will be needed on my part.  I think I am finally learning the true extent to which that may need to happen.  It has been a tense few days and I have a feeling tomorrow will be a very long night.  We agreed to meet on Skype to discuss our thoughts and to ensure there are no miscommunications or misinterpreting the other person’s voice.  

I’m trying to be rational and think this through. In the end it’ll be worth it to be together.  While it may be a tough few years, the Army will not be forever.  Thankfully boyfriend does not want me to sacrifice my chosen career field, even if I am only working one day a week, it is still helping me to stay current and still use my degree that I’m working so hard for.  

Sorry again to be mopey and morose.  I’m tired of being so perky, I need to get in touch with my feelings more often.  The two of us are still getting started on this journey, and I have a feeling these discussions are going to become more frequent, especially if the "SF" track keeps getting tossed around.

Be Still My Heart

Texts like this never make the time apart easier: "I miss you being in my arms, come back to Tennessee".

It is nights like tonight that make me wish we were not doing this whole long distance relationship still.  I'm ready to spend time together (when the Army lets us).  I want more than anything to be able to do my internship year near his current base, but the odds are that would be right about the time boyfriend is set to deploy again or go off to his Captain's Course for 6 months.  The lack of a current plan for the next 2ish years is getting tiring.  I know it is never going to get easier but I just would like some chance to dream like any other couple.

He is the one that makes it worth it.  Even if we have to spend 10 years together before we actually live in the same zipcode, all the time spent apart will be worth it to have him by my side everyday.

Old Woman on Campus

I am so behind in everything, and its only the first week of classes- how did I let this happen!?!

I have 7 papers to read/summarize for my literature review for my Doctoral Research Project (eek!), 5 chapters for classes and also 5 clinical files.   And to top it all off, I have next to nothing to wear, and my laundry is in desperate need of getting done.  I think I’m going to have to just suck it up and go to a Laundromat to get it done all at once tomorrow night.  Why yes, I am the lamest student ever :).

Classes started this week, and the undergrads have flooded campus.  They are being loud, littering beer cans everywhere, and rather inconsiderate of those that have things to do in the morning.  I already feel like the cantankerous old person yelling at my neighbors to "keep it down because some of us have to work in the morning”, yep direct quote.  When did I turn into a grandmother… yeesh.  

I’ve also been killing myself at the gym and trying to fight off the social butterflies from the gym equipment.  I can’t wait until 2 weeks from now when they all start dropping like flies, and enjoy the few weeks of down time until the “I can get a six pack in a week” pre-spring break crowd shows up.  I enjoyed my empty campus and rec center, can’t I have that again soon?

At least I have some fun stuff planned this weekend: bridesmaid-palooza!  I'm meeting the bridal party and having lunch with everyone for the July wedding I am in.  I tried on the dress the other day at a local store, and I really do love it.  The color is so pretty and the fit is very classic.  I did have some shock to discover they don’t run anywhere near street sizes, so I had a bit of a complex from being told to order the size I’m getting.  

Pretty Plum color.

I may actually be able to wear this again!

Well, it is bed time for me bloggy land.  I’m going to try to make my little corner of the internet more of a priority than it has been this last week.  Another goal for this next year is to get more involved with the milspouse community, even though I am just a SO, it would be nice to be more connected.  I was just unplugged and relaxing before the hectic wave of school work started. 

12 Goals for 2012

I've seen many people doing this, and I think it has a nice ring to it.  So here it is, my 12 goals for 2012:

1)            Get a group fitness pass to the campus gym and use it more than 1x a week

2)            Go to bed by 11 or 12 every night to try and get at least 7-8 hours of sleep

3)            Clean up my apartment in small doses daily to have less to do on weekends

4)            Eat Boston Cream Pie and have a real New England dinner while in Boston

5)            Redo resume and CV after each semester so I'll be ready for 4th year applications in the fall

6)            Study my butt off and pass comps on the 1^st try in June

7)            Surprise boyfriend while on our anniversary vacation in March

8)            Less computer time, but more quality time on my blog and Skype

9)            Make a true 50 item bucket list and cross at least 2 things off by the end of the year

10)         Take more photos and carry my camera everywhere

11)         Train for and complete my 1^st half marathon without walking

12)         Stress less, and live in the moment more

What are your goals? Are they pretty similar?
And because I can, more photos from the holidays :)

Boyfriend's grandparents, brother and the two of us.

I'm all dressed up for Christmas Eve church, he changed before we left.

Catching Up, Hello 2012!

I'm back at school and I'm finally unpacked (only took 3 days)! I had a car full to cram into my tiny apartment, so I ended up taking everything out of my bookshelf and closet and all the while tossing/recycling things I no longer need and donating clothes to friend's closets.  I feel recharged and ready to take on another semester of school.

I survived last semester relatively unscathed, only 1 class had a less than desirable outcome but I'm meeting with that professor to see if I have to remediate the test or any part of the class.  I was bummed to see the grade, but in all my other classes I had an A or an A- and 1 B+, so my GPA was still really good for the semester. 

Christmas break was very short this year.  I had to stay at school until the 22nd for clinical rotations then I headed up north to my parents house.  Boyfriend stopped in for a night to break up the drive home so it was nice to have some 'us' time before the holidays.  My ENTIRE extended family came into town so it was very hectic to say the least.  It was nice to catch up with all my cousins and their spouses, and in a few months we will get to do it all over again for my cousin's wedding. 

Boyfriend and I enjoyed a lot of quality time together at least as much as we could pack into the 6 days of leave he took.  We exchanged presents and had a nerdy Christmas together.  He LOVED the kindle touch I got him, and I don't think he's put it down since.  I just need to get one before we take our trip in 2 months :)  He got me the Audiology Desk Reference books, which is amazing because they are out of print and getting difficult to find.  I also got a nifty otoscope, so I can clean out his ears whenever he wants, ha!

Overall, it's been a great time away and I'm not quite ready for the new semester to begin.  I still have a week of freedom left, and I'll be going to see boyfriend for MLK weekend.  We may be hitting up Nashville which is always a great time.

Now for some photos:

All the cousins minus one.  My sis is on the far right.

Boyfriend opening his present from me. Note the big box.

This is the "really you did all this face" I had to throw him off somehow!

All that work for a Kindle touch.

My AMAZING books :) I've already skimmed Volume I.