Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Holiday Season

Well the holidays are quickly approaching, and I for some reason cannot seem to get into the holiday spirit. I'm feeling rather Grinch-y and want to say "Bah Humbug"to the whole season this year.  I have a feeling a VERY big part of it is that this will be the LTs and I's first Christmas apart- ever.  He made it home all through out college, and his year of training.  But this year he'll be gone.  I got so used to college and the two of us having 2-3 weeks together, and last year we even had a week.  I have been so very spoiled with Christmases together, and I'm just really trying to stay positive this year.  It always seems to work out that Christmas is the one holiday that we never spend apart, and I just love winter activities with him at my side.  His family is being great, and we're still doing the holiday traditions we have together, but it will be very bittersweet without him there.  Thankfully my friends are very understanding, and I'm escaping to St. Louis multiple times to just take a break from family and the constant reminders at home.

In better news- the LT called the other night! He was just getting off guard duty, so it was very late his time, but I was hanging out with some college friends.  As per usual, a weird number popped up on my phone and I answered warily- knowing that 6 or 8 digit numbers are usually him calling.  He and I talked for about 30 minutes which is a lot longer than we usually get to talk, I was floating when I got to hear his voice again.  I haven't been able to talk to him much lately, he's been very busy planning missions and getting acquainted with his new Captain.  The last time he called was almost a month ago, and at Thanksgiving his parents talked to him most of the time, which I don't mind because he usually calls me more often.  He had some sad news to share, he's going to be busy with things so he probably won't be able to talk around Christmas.  That was hard to hear, but I know that's how the job goes sometimes.  His unit has also had a rough few weeks, so he was a little down and I just wish I could do more than talk/send emails.

It was great timing that this week he got my Christmas package and loved it!  I tried to give him more special things than just sending material items, so he got a letter to open every day in December leading up to Christmas day, and lots of homemade goodies along with a personalized DVD tour of my college apartment and campus (it was a great excuse to play around with my new Mac Book and iMovie program).  He has never seen my apt or my campus because he deployed the week I moved in and my classes started.  I hope that the DVD helps him see the places I talk about and the people I study with.  I also recorded a special message for him at the end, so he can see me/hear my voice whenever he wants.

Thankfully I have some of the best friends in the world, who keep me strong and are there to listen when I want to cry/complain about the situation.  On of my best friends was studying abroad in China this semester and the other was teaching abroad in Germany, so I hope with the two of them being home I won't be as grumpy.  Anyways- off to a welcome home dinner for the China BFF!  I can enjoy my paltry 2 weeks off before starting clinical practicums, and a week of that will be spent in St. Louis.  Here's to hoping this turns my mood around for the better.

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Backstory

Hey all! Well here goes nothing, my first blog :)

So the past few weeks or so I was reading some blogs of several military spouses and was searching to no avail to find a military girlfriend that might be experiencing some of the same emotions/feelings as myself. Unfortunately, I couldn't find many! I've been having a really tough time with the LTs deployment, I only have a few friends who are dating/married to a service member and my "civilian friends" can be a great shoulder to lean on,  but they can never really empathize with everything that has changed so quickly in my life.  Deployment for the LT and I has been kind of a 'tossed in feet first' mentality, I did not have the chance to go to pre-deployment meetings with him, I was mostly relayed what info he thought I'd need.  I appreciated all of it, but I'm still struggling with the day to day.  I'm just rolling with everything that is thrown my way and hoping I can be there for him as much as possible.  

Some back story on me and my soldier. We are high school sweethearts, our romance started in high school gym class, he was a sophomore, and I was a freshman.  I had the BIGGEST crush on him during that year, but never acted on it because one of my friends had already made her intentions well known.  A few years passed, I was a junior and he was a senior, and as fate would have it, we were in the same gym class together!  Not-so-subtly I asked the substitute teacher if I could be his partner, and because she was a friend of his family, she obliged.  Funny how things like that happen, huh?  One VERY intense game of raquetball later, I finally had the guts to talk to him outside of class.  We were both involved in track and field and Key Club and started talking a lot more.  I asked him to Sadie Hawkins and had the most wonderful night, we spent the whole time talking and laughing and even had our first kiss, it was on his cheek as he dropped me off, but apparently I made a good enough of an impression on him.  We finally became official, prom ensued and the rest was history. We are going on 5.5 years of being in a LDR, starting with attending different colleges that were about 3 hours apart, and now active duty military life.  Even while in college and LT and I never saw each other more than once every 4-8 weeks, so when he commissioned and started military life it was quite the shock to now be going up to 6-8 months without seeing each other.  My graduate education is not helping the situation either- the military isn't totally to blame... just mostly ;).  My LT is currently serving in Operation Enduring Freedom and has about 4 months finished up, the remaining months need to hurry up!  I love him with all my heart, and I am anxiously awaiting the day he returns and I'm done with graduate school so we can finally live in the same state together (fingers crossed).  

I'm currently a graduate student pursuing a clinical Doctorate in Audiology (Au.D).... quite the mouthful huh? For those who may not know what that is, it's like an Optometrist, but for your ears.  It's the clinical identification and management of hearing and balance disorders, along with the education on hearing protection and preventing hearing loss.  I want to specialize in pediatrics and newborn hearing screenings or working in a school for the hearing impaired.  I love working with little kids, so much fun and you never know what to expect!  So the 4 years of undergrad are finished, just working on the 4 years of graduate school.

So this is going to be a place for me to kvetch and moan about grad school and all the while balancing the needs of my deployed boyfriend. It's hard, but I'm determined to make it all work and happen.  It is going to be quite the juggling act, but once I find the balance I know the pieces will all fall into place.

Until next time-