Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Weddings and the Army Life

I'm sure this is not something that is new to other milie bloggers out there, but man oh man is wedding planning plus army not a good combo.  Currently we are still hoping to set a date in the next few weeks, just have to hold out for some SF information.  Captain's course is coming up, and the fellow says we may just have to throw darts at a calendar, which I am SO not a fan of. *shrugs* but what can you do right?

I also did not realize how much weddings freaking cost!! We are hoping to invite just family and close friends, and already the guest list is spiraling past the 125-ish I wanted to stay around.  Yes, many of them may not be able to attend, but yikes does it get expensive reallllly quickly.  Both our parents are being fantastic and offering significant help, but it will still involve some contribution by the two of us.  And by the two of us, I mean the fiance, because paying for a wedding with student loans is never a good idea. 

The more and more we talk about it, the more and more appealing eloping sounds.  I know that we may regret it and we're just saying that for all the wrong reasons but yikes that would reduce the stress immensely.  It also doesn't help that we've resigned ourselves to spending our first year of marriage apart while I am interning and he is off doing Captain things, reporting to a new unit, or even deploying again.  I just keep repeating to myself, in the end we will be married and that's the most important thing.  It doesn't matter what I wear, where it is, or even what time of year it happens.  The most important thing is the commitment we are making to each other for the rest of our lives.   Just have to keep that in perspective and it'll all turn out just fine. 


  1. We moved our wedding up by five-months because C's unit was going on the deploy-at-the-drop-of-a-hat (not the real name for it, : ) no lie) rotation during the timeframe we initially intended.

    At one point we discussed the possibility of a very tiny, tiny wedding (no hooplah) in my church with only immediate family with a big party TBD sometime in the future. Moving the wedding up meant that C's brother would not be able to attend, that any shot at my second degree would not be possible (at that time), and that things would have to be done quickly.

    With all the unknowns and dilemmas and trying to decide the "hows", my deacon (who married us and a past sailor), looked me in the eye and said that no matter what happened, no matter how small, or quick, or simple, the two of us would say our vows and join together as husband and wife.

    THAT is all that matters.

    Take a deep breathe, give it to God, and focus on the only part that it is all about.

  2. You are right, it will all turn out just fine :) Weddings are expensive. I am happy for you guys!

  3. (I'm soooo behind on the times!)

    As a lifetime domestic partner who's not fallen prey to the whole wedding-ness, I'm happy to offer myself as a devil's advocate for eloping (because it just sounds awesome) or selling a kidney for a wedding.

    But whatever you do, I'm down for tagging along and offering my detailed opinions on the need for a bar at a wedding. :) You won't believe how some people find this not a necessity. (!!?!?) I don't ask for an open bar (although nice, but I know military people can DRINK), I just ask for liquid sustenance.

    I can't wait to see how you deal with Uncle Sam in all this - best of luck in planning and maintaining sanity! :)

  4. I can't believe I missed the big news!! CONGRATULATIONS!! We both got engaged around the same time! (mine was march 14th.)

    And boooyyy do I feel your pain. We finally found a date and venue after major bouts of frustration. J finishes FRS flight training sooner than we anticipated, and will be possibly deploying starting in early March 2013. His sister is currently in Jordan with the peace corps, his groomsmen (that apparently NEED to be at the wedding) are deploying this month for 6ish months, and my mom is in nursing school in New Orleans.

    So my idea of a May 2013 wedding turned into a January 5th 2013 wedding, but if it works for everyone it works for me! And our wedding is slowly growing too. I have a huge family so we're inviting 150 ish between the two of us. I originally wanted a small wedding, but his mom is donating a lot of money and inviting a lot of her friends. I can't really complain because these friends are also helping with flower arranging, etc. But still, we have a low budget for that many people and I'm kind of nervous about it!

    We should swap ideas! Good luck with getting a date. I think you have a great attitude. :)

  5. Wedding stuff is ridic...even more ridic when you add the Army. We would have had one wedding total last June if Bills friends were not deployed, but obviously that was not the case. We also had to have it before he could potentially deploy again. Pain in the butt. If my parents weren't obsessed with a huge wedding, our cheap JOP would have been great. The wedding planning is fun, but will be stressful. Just drink lots of wine and remember it's about you and him, not everyone else (people will try to take over). Good luck!!!

  6. P and I talked a bunch about eloping, and there were several times after we decided not to I still wish we had. The bills to add up, fast! I feel bad at times also, although both our families are helping a huge amount is falling on us...AKA him. Luckily the Army hasn't caused to many issue since we were able to plan a date during block leave and before they start on a deployment training schedule. To bad the church wasn't as easy :)

    In the end it about you guys, and how ever you do it after the vows are said you are husband and wife.

  7. I know how you feel. When we were planning our April 2011 wedding, we almost had to move the whole thing to January because The Powers That Be decided everybody had to be out in the field the week we had our wedding scheduled. And by "everybody" they meant even the people who already had passes. But...after lots of meetings with the higher-ups, prayers and yes,tears,it all worked out without us having to switch. Good luck with everything! :)

  8. It's good to have perspective on these things! I was frustrated because Aaron was in Japan and couldn't get leave for our wedding! It was like pulling teeth so I finally told him I didn't care when it was, just get the leave and I'd plan our wedding around it. We ended up doing a big party at my parents house a few days before the wedding at my parents house so all my cousins/aunts/uncles could come (I have over 100 of them...) and then our actual wedding was only about 40 people. Whatever you decide to do you will love it!

    Also, I tried to email you saying I'd love to make you a blog button and I can't find your email for some reason. So email me helloalsoiloveyou{at}gmail{dot}com and we'll chat about it!

  9. Since Josh's unit is non-deployable, we thankfully didn't have issues with choosing a date that worked, but we did have issues with living apart. Honestly, I didn't think being married and living separately would affect me as much as it did, but in the end you're married and will EVENTUALLY get to be together. :) So hard to hear and accept, I know. Wishing you both the best!