Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Homecoming Expectations

Well, the nervous jitters have begun to set in.  While boyfriend's return is still a bit away, the donut keeps shrinking further and further.  I have already talked to professors and have my possible leaving already secured should it happen to fall during a class and during external placement.  The one hold out is the need for someone to cover my on campus clinical shift.  There is only 1 person in the entire program that can possibly cover my shift.... one.  Needless to say I am going to do some MAJOR ass kissing and I am not above bribery.

Boyfriend's mother has started to plan away for homecoming things.  She has the hotels we are staying at booked (oy, rookie mistake... always pencil not pen right?), dinner reservations, excursions planned and signs/posters made.  While I am very appreciative of all of this, I feel stuck in the middle.  I have been with boyfriend for 6 years now, it's not like I'm a recent development.  Yet, when I asked to have some private time just the two of us amongst all the hustle and bustle of the arrival ceremony, you would have thought I was asking for it to be all about me that whole weekend.  Yes, I am only able to stay during the weekend due to class and clinical commitments so I would like some extended time.  And yes, I also understand he is her oldest, and this is his first deployment so emotions are running rather high.

After being the last to arrive to meet him at the airport for his R&R, and then have to see each other for the first time in front of his entire family, I am craving that moment for just the two of us.  I didn't get a welcome home kiss until he walked me to my car, but at least he made it a good one ;)  I may be romanticizing the ceremony, but is it really too much to ask to have a few moments to just the two of us? I guess I'm just feeling lost with expectations and trying to please everyone else.  I wish I could talk to boyfriend and see what he wants, and to let him make the decisions for what he wants to do.  Oy, all this planning is really starting to give me panic attacks, seeing the donut hitting single digits is really tweaking me out.

So, any advice? Am I being unreasonable and very selfish? I just don't know what to think anymore...

Holy crap- single digits!

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean. When my husband (boyfriend at the time) got home, I ran up and kissed him the second I saw him. It wasn't until after I did it that I saw his parents standing there. His mom said, "We haven't even hugged him yet!" Awkward!