Monday, June 20, 2011

Not #winning.

Yes, I just referenced Charlie Sheen.  I went there :)

I just feel like I can’t win with my summer classes and clinic paperwork.  I love my external placement and seeing patients in a real clinical setting, but once I am on campus I feel like no matter what I do, it is never good enough! My supervisor is riding my butt about my paperwork, either it is not done well enough or it is not on time, and she is now saying she is deducting from my grade for it.   I just feel like I keep putting in more and more effort and I am not seeing the results.  I have a meeting with her to see if I can rectify the situation and salvage my grade.  I just want to admit defeat, but I still have another 6 weeks left. 

I’m also struggling to find the motivation to stay afloat with my classes and work.  I know my time management has been subpar this summer, but I just can’t seem to get going on it all.  All I want to do is sleep and bum around my apartment.  I’m going to try and up my exercise regimen to see if that boosts my energy level.  Maybe getting into more of a sleep routine will help me as well.  I think a good weekend away might also be in order because I need a break from this town. 

I know this is very whiny and self pity laden, but I just needed to vent and I’m just tired of it all at this point.  I think realizing boyfriend had been gone for a month, and there is still some time before he comes home is starting to get to me.  I’m not getting too excited about homecoming yet; I just can’t until it gets closer.  I think I was hurt so much by how many times leave was pushed back that I’m terrified the same thing is going to happen yet again. 

Ok, chocolate break and a nap and hopefully that turns my mood around.  

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